$1,250 a Pound.

Firstly, let me apologize for my lapse in blogging.  Work has been crazy and I feel like I haven’t had time to sit down and put pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard.  Well, I’m back!  So don’t worry, I didn’t fall off the wagon – still very much on, minus the blogging.  

I had a revelation yesterday.  I have been going to a plastic surgeon for the past few months for a Pyogenic Granuloma (a.k.a - Bertha) that had to be removed from my right cheek, then I had to have a cyst removed from my leg (a.k.a. - Bubba).  So between Bertha and Bubba, I have been in to see my plastic surgeon quite a bit as of late.  Anyway, yesterday was my last appointment and all I had to do was get the stitches removed from my leg.  

After he removed the stitches, he asked if there was anything else that I wanted to talk about.  I jokingly told him that I would like for him to liposuction about 30 pounds off of me.  He turned a bit serious and told me that he would be happy to do liposuction, but the most that he could do in one sitting was about 8 lbs.  Without being prompted, he saw through my next question – cost.  He included that an 8 pound lipo would run one about $10,000.  

I could have fallen off that uncomfortable white faux alligator skin chair.  Who would pay $10,000 for 8 measly pounds??  Apparently, the answer is lots of people – WHO HAVE MORE MONEY THEN THEY KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH!!!!

Then it hit me.  I have already lost over 16 pounds.  I have lost over $20,000 in liposuctioned fat.  Sweet baby jesus.  That makes me feel fantastic!!!!  Plus, no recovery time!!!  That decision seems like a no brainer…  $30 a month for the gym with no recovery time, aside from heating pads and wine – OR $50,000 in lipo with weeks of recovery and a possibly side effect of death.  

I have a renewed outlook for the gym and how fabulous it really is.  The gym is cheap, fun (very loose interpretation), and cheap. 

Today I challenge you to take that gym membership that has been sitting dormant for a year, and go to the gym!  It’s much better then paying $1,250 per pound with recovery time.

Peace out from the biggest girl on the smallest legs.

XOXO

Feeling Off-Track

Do you know the feeling when you just aren’t exactly right?  I have that feeling this week.  I had a great weigh in on Monday, and have been on track with eating (have not exceeded daily points).  The only possibly explanation is exercise.  I normally am able to exercise much more, but this week is off.  In my defense, I had to get something removed from my leg and have 3 stitches (which sounds WEAK), but it is pretty uncomfortable.  You leg is an odd place to have skin removed because I have learned that as a general rule, leg skin is very tight. 

I think there is a great underlying message here.  I now like exercise.  I said it, it’s out in the universe and I can’t take it back.  I am excited that I have come to rely so much on exercise as a daily part of my life – BUT, the downside comes when I can’t get out there and do it.  I feel like a slug since I missed my spinning class this morning…  and I am going to miss my long run on Saturday with my ladies. L

I am going to take this feeling, and internalize it.  I don’t want to feel like this again.  I want to be able to keep up with my exercise for not only my physical health, but my mental health as well.  Who knew that a spinning class could bring so much sanity to one’s soul?  Before I started back with my regular classes, I probably would have argued that it was some kind of Chinese water torture.

Make sure you are feeding your body and soul what it needs so you can stay on track and hit your goals.

"Unless you puke, faint or die, keep going!" - Jillian Michaels

Peace out from the biggest girl on the smallest legs.

XOXO

Today is a GOOD DAY

Today is the start of week 4 with the Weight Watchers program.  I have now experienced 3 full weeks of healthier eating and good focus on daily activity.  I am here to tell you today that it does work, and I have lost 10.7 lbs!!!  WOOT!!!!

I actually am starting to feel like this is less of a ‘diet’ now because I really don’t have to restrict in ways that I have historically restricted.  In the past when I tried to lose weight I would totally remove dinners out, and stock my refrigerator with only things that were green in color.  I am here to tell you that you have to have variety to keep on track, and while my fridge has lots of green roughage in it now, it also has other delish morsels.  I lost 3 lbs this week and I even snuck in froyo, wine, Mexican, birthday cake, etc.  I just made smart choices, and smaller portions.

The beauty of this is that Brant and I still go out to dinner 1 or 2 times a week, and I still get yummy things but I tweak my order a bit.  A great substitution that I found was at our favorite Mexican spot.  Instead of getting the full blown chicken fajitas meal (comes with a guacamole salad and beans too…), I now order the chicken fajitas salad and am 100% satisfied.  It has a lot of good chicken, lots of veggies, some cheese and grilled onions.  All in all, allowing myself to eat out, have a few glasses of wine on the weekends, and balancing all of that with portion and exercise is a winning combination for me!

I am proud today.  Today is a good day.

Now that I have tooted my own horn, I can move on to something a little more interesting.  Actually, probably not more interesting – but I want to talk about it. J

If I have not mentioned this before, I am a member in a small running group of fab lady friends.  I have mentioned in past posts that I am not a runner.  This still holds true.  I can attest to the fact that joining a running group does not make you a better runner.  I had high hopes that some magic would happen, but no luck – I’m still slow and awkward.  This is beside the point though.

Our fab running group meets for our ‘long run’ day on Saturday.  This means that we are running independently during the week to prepare for our big day.  The running group cheerleader (I would also call her the Team Manager) has been kind enough to send us our schedules weekly, so we know exactly what we are supposed to do each day.  This is VERY HELPFUL! 

This week our ‘long run’ day just happened to be on a morning where sweet Mother Nature decided that the temperature should be 16 degrees without factoring in the wind chill.  I chose the picture attached to this post because I could have been wearing nothing more than a speedo and would have expected to be just as cold as I felt!!  As a side note - those are real men, or stupid men.  But kudos to them for letting logic lose in the decisions that led up to this picture.

Back to me. 

Within a minute of starting our run, both of my eyes were watering and my nose was running.  After 2 minutes, I am pretty sure my tears had frozen and my eyeballs were getting cold enough to reduce vision.  After 5 minutes it felt like my throat had completely iced over.  Thankfully I had my dog with me to continue to drag me in the right direction.

In lieu of giving you a parting request,  I would like to share some wisdom with you.  Do not run when it is 16 degrees before factoring in the wind chill.    

Peace out from the biggest girl on the smallest legs.

XOXO

929 Miles from Richmond, Virginia to Key West, Florida

And I am going to ride those miles on my bike in spinning class.  929 MILES.  This is not some crazy thing that I schemed on my own.  As much as I would love to spin for 929 miles without any motivation at all – I do have some from my gym.  They are sponsoring this contest, and the goal is to see who can get there first, or who can hit 929 miles rather. 

Details

• The contest begins on January 31^st
• There will be 3 bikes that secretly have odometers, and your overall miles for each class will come from the average of what those 3 little buggers read
• There is supposedly a prize for winning, but I am not yet sure what that is – I would like to say it is an all expense paid trip to Key West, but I am pretty sure that is not the case
• I don’t know how in the H.E. double hockey sticks I plan to spin 929 miles, but I have already signed up and am going to go for it

As we all know I am not someone who is good at math, but as I was spinning the other evening (note: this does not count toward my mileage to Key West) I was trying to run some high level numbers in my head.  The bikes at my current gym don’t have odometers, but at my last gym they did… and I would average between 30 and 35 miles per class.  I decided to use 30 because it’s an easy number and I know that there are a lot of people that are slower than I in those classes.  Shocking, but true.

SO, stick with me here -

• 30 miles per class
• 7 classes a week

EQUALS

• 210 miles per week
• 4 and a half weeks to reach my sunny & warm destination

Now, the word on the street is that there will be 2 or more 90 minute cycle classes available and if I take those I can add about 15 miles more each time.  Let’s be real, that won’t do much overall, but it sure sounds good.

As I was climbing my virtual hills, and let's use virtual pretty loosely because those are serious hills when you are riding them, I was also thinking through what I would need to help me get though this challenge.  I feel like the below list would be very helpful.

• Boudreax’s Butt Paste for chaffing
• An economy bottle of Advil
• Some sweet aerodynamic glasses
• A water bottle with an inspirational message
• A new pair of the biking ‘diaper pants’

This list is a pretty good start, but I think I will be adding to it once I get undway with this challenge.  The last item is probably the most critical.  If you have never worn a pair of the biking ‘diaper pants’ you are really missing out.  These things are amazing.  They are like leggings with strategically placed padding in the bathing suit area.  I can’t tell you how many times I have secretly thanked the inventors of such revolutionary pants. 

Today I ask you to join me.  Start you own journey to Key West or some other goal that you want to reach J   Once this nonsense gets started I'll keep you up to date on current mileage and locations!!  Stay tuned.

“Life is like riding a bicycle.  To keep your balance you must keep moving” – Albert Einstein

Peace out from the biggest girl on the smallest legs.

XOXO

Give Hope and Kick Cancer

In November 2010, one of my dear friends was diagnosed with breast cancer.  I don’t think I will ever forget the feeling that I had when I read her email.  I had so many unanswered questions.  Was she okay?  Would she be okay?  How far along was the disease?  How could I help?  I don’t remember exactly what my reply to her said, but I did everything I could to show her that I was behind her 100% in her fight, and I although I don’t think she would want my cooking, I do have a mean right hook.  That isn’t actually true about the right hook, but it sounds tough.  And for the record, I would in fact like to punch cancer in the face.

The fantastic news came when she emailed a few weeks later and said that she had gone through a battery of testing and that she is lucky enough to have the cancer that anyone with cancer would love to have (those were her words, not mine).  She has an early stage and it has a 100% survival rate!!!  Overjoyed does not describe the feeling.  But, it makes you realize that this is not the message that is always delivered.  Her message came because of her diligence around prevention.  A mammogram.  An annual mammogram.

The American Cancer Society recommends yearly mammograms starting at the age of 40, and continuing for as long as a woman is in good health.  They also recommend a clinical breast exam every 3 years for women in their 20’s, and 30’s, and every year for 40 and over. 

If my friend had not been so diligent, her cancer may not have been found until symptoms started to rear their ugly head.  Once symptoms are visible, you have far progressed down a path that you would prefer not to be on. 

Here is where I find her journey amazing.  She took her cancer as a challenge, and although she had an early stage, she still had to endure a lumpectomy and is starting her radiation in the next few days.  After she came through the other side of the lumpectomy, she sent an email to many of her friends, and she gave us our own challenge.  A challenge for us to endure while she is busy kicking her breast cancer’s ass.

This was her challenge:

1)       Bolster her in pursuit of a clean bill of health

2)       Raise awareness about breast cancer

3)       Show the importance of early screenings

I do my best to support her in any way I can and as often as I can, so now I am going to honor her request and raise awareness about breast caner.

BREAST CANCER STATISTICS

Source: www.Komen.org

·         Except for skin cancers, breast cancer is the most common type of cancer among women in the United States and is the leading cause of cancer deaths among women ages 20 - 59. It is second only to lung cancer as a cause of cancer death among women.

·         Nearly 200,000 women will be diagnosed with invasive breast cancer this year (non invasive cases add 60,000 to this number) and about 40,000 women will die from breast cancer this year.

·         2,000 men in the US will be diagnosed this year and 400 men will die from breast cancer this year.

·         Breast cancer risk factors include: Age (95% of cases occur after 40), Higher Estrogen Levels ( Height, before 12 menstral cycle, later menopause, use of hormonal birth controls, over 35 first pregnancy), genetic mutations (there are several identified, but it is unclear how causative they are), family history (the more members of immediate and first degree relatives = higher risk) and being overweight or gaining weight after menopause.

·         Additional factors include exercise, socioeconomic status (higher=increased risk), breastfeeding (decreased risk).

So please take this information and pay it forward as we all have very important women (and men) in our lives that may not have the level of awareness necessary to get them to walk through that door. 

Peace out from the biggest girl on the smallest legs.

XOXO

Only 30 More Weeks of 2 Pound Losses.

I didn’t have a great weigh in this week, but I did LOSE! I am still going the right direction. I did a great job with exercise, and I felt like I did a good job with intake, but I did have a little restaurant splurge on Saturday and a few other small splurges during the week. I will not look back and analyze this because I did a good job, and I was living life and not sitting inside a ‘diet box’, as my WW leader calls it.

I am the kind of person that needs a tangible goal. I need to be able to quantify something, wrap my head around it, process it, and then I can commit myself to it. As I sit here today, I need to lose 60 pounds to get to my goal weight. Wow. That is really real when I write it down. 60 POUNDS. I have never lost 60 of anything…. Brain cells maybe, but not much else. Please take a moment to observe the picture of the 60 pound fish. Yes, I need to lose that fish.

OK, so now I have a tangible goal. I need to lose 60 pounds at about 2 lbs per week (yes, I know that this isn’t going to be easy, and I won’t ALWAYS lose 2 a week, but it’s a good round number). This means I have the ability to be at my goal weight by August 16, 2011. For those of you paying attention, that is this year!!! Maybe I should just say that my birthday should be my goal date – September 2nd. What a great present for myself. Last year I got myself a pair of shoes, maybe this year I could get a new wardrobe. (Brant, my dear husband – if you are reading this, start saving for my new wardrobe birthday present now please – Anne Taylor Loft, Banana Republic, and Anthropology would be a fab start!).

Fat girls can always buy themselves shoes because your feet pretty much stay the same size. This year, I want to buy clothing that is significantly smaller than what is in my closet today. I can’t even imagine what a size Medium shirt would be like. I can tell you what it is like today though. It’s like a sausage casing, and it keeps rolling up. Speaking of sausage casing, I’ll tell you what will make you feel that way… Under Armor. It is great stuff and I love it, but my god when I put on an XL shirt it’s like I am trying to put my 3 year old niece’s shirt on. There is another tangible goal – fit into Under Armor shirt without feeling like it is squeezing all of the air out of my lungs.

Well my friends. Another week down and another week is coming full speed ahead. I pledge to myself that I am going to exercise at least 5 times this week (biking, running, spinning, etc). Please pledge to do something kind for yourself this week as well, and don’t worry, you can thank me later. (I accept gift cards of ‘thanks’ to mid-grade couture, as long as they are good through September 2, 2011) ;)

Borrowing my new favorite quote from on of my favorite friends…. I may just add this to each post going forward to remind me of what I need to do.

"Unless you puke, faint or die, keep going!" - Jillian Michaels

Peace out from the biggest girl on the smallest legs.
XOXO

Bye Bye Bertha

Oh Bertha, on Wednesday of this week, you left my person for good.  You were never welcome, and when you so kindly invited yourself to the party, I would have liked to kick your ass to the curb before you had a chance to take hold.

Bertha and I have not been acquaintances for long.  She decided that October 2010 would be a good time to start growing on my right cheek.  I know some of you are wondering who this wretched Bertha is, and I will tell you.  She supposedly is an adult onset rapidly growing cherry angioma.  Say that 5 times fast.  These are pesky *hopefully* benign tumors that grow on peoples face and neck randomly.  Thank god that happened after I got married.  Brant (my loving husband) may have taken one look and run the other way – but now he is already trapped, thank god for that.  I am sure any man would be very attracted to me with a a kidney bean attached to my face.  Maybe Brant would have had more competition....  Deep Thoughts with Stephanie.

I named her because she got big enough to deserve a name, but not quite big enough for her own zip code (it’s a fine line).  I also named her because in some alternate universe it helped me cope with the situation.  The situation is that I needed to have a plastic surgeon cut her off of my poor cheek.  I have never had anything cut off or out of my body – not even a wisdom tooth (feverishly knocking on wood).  This is so traumatizing that for one day I am not thinking about how my chin has 2 other chins!!!  (quick joke – Who has more chins than Stephanie(that's me for those not paying attention)?.....?...... a: The Chinese Phone book!).  But in all seriousness, even though I was just getting a little local pain med and was awake, I WAS SOOO SCARED!  I have always been a whimp though… 

I do have a Dr. crush on my plastic surgeon though...  He was is very nice and seemed to enjoy that the kidney bean hanging off of my face already had a name.  He was even kind enough to refer to her as Bertha the entire time I was in the office.  I got play by play updates... "ok Steph, I am now getting ready to cut Bertha off, and burn the area where she was so she cannot return", me: "wow, you make that sound so romantic, I'm not any less scared now", Dr. L: "I know, I have a way with words". 

So now I focus on the future.  Bertha is leaving and I need to move on.  She will leave in her wake a scar, a scar that will always allow me to think back to our 3 month love affair.  As soon as it is healed enough, I will be going to buy the best cover up that money can buy!  Speaking of cover up, why in the year of 2011 is there no better way to cover up my gut?  I guess that’s why they made those poncho shirts a few years ago, and why oversized sweaters and really tight tights are in style today.  That really only exacerbated my issue of having tiny getaway sticks and a gut.  Oh well, maybe that will detract from the wrath of Bertha for a bit.

I hope that everyone has a safe and ‘Bertha Free’ day. 

Peace out from the biggest girl on the smallest legs.

XOXO