Hello world, and welcome to the first day of my last struggle with weight loss. I'm serious. I have failed six hundred times, but this time is different. I am looking at the last year and a half of my 20's, and I don't want to have to get the largest size that Ann Taylor Loft carries, or have to be embarrassed that JCrew "runs small" enough where it is a waste of time to even walk into the store. I know what you are thinking, "not another whiney blog from a fat girl", but this is different. I hope ;)
This isn't just about being shunned from mid-grade couture. That is most definately a very annoying side effect of my life, but it's really about the important things... What are these things you ask? I want to feel good naked. Like, I don't just want to feel good, I want to look freaking hot. How about that awful demonic thing called a bathing suit? I want to run the other way when I see them, especially the ones with the built in skirt and oversized floral print (which is apparently all a size 16 should wear). You know, I can change that I look crappy in a size 16. I may not be able to change my Amazonian size feet (thanks dad), but I can lose the gut (also, thanks dad). Oh wait, I can't blame my overeating and drive thru obsession on my father, but it sure makes me feel better :).
So this is the first day of my journey to put the kabash on looking like a potato on toothpicks. Did I mention I have super skinny legs, am 5'8, and have a grown man's stomach? Oh, those are just minor details. We may revisit that later. Or maybe not.
I went to my first weight watchers meeting tonight. I had very mixed emotions which included excitement, fear of being judged, and did I mention excitement? I have tried WW online before and it worked, but I quit and gained the weight back. This time, when I lose the weight I am going to remind myself how much time, money, and celery I went through before I make the decision to go grab some McDonald's fries. I don't want to be the fat friend, fat sister, fat daughter, fat granddaughter, fat auntie, or fat wife anymore.
Thank you for joining me on this last pilgrimage to look good naked, or look good in Ann Taylor, whatever.
Peace out from the biggest girl with the smallest legs ;)
You can thank me later for your cute little signature line...."Biggest girl on the smallest horse". But you have to sing it! ;) Keep up the good work Steph!
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